We’re all lucky to be alive
Slowly but surely the winter from hell is passing. It was a long, treacherous haul, and I’m just glad no fool driving his truck too fast for the road conditions slid into my little car. Back in January, a Minnesota man ended up in the hospital when his car hit a cow and it went through the windshield. Thank the lord, the man wasn’t seriously injured, because how embarrassing would it be to die in a car-cow collision? His mother, who was in the car but unhurt, said she felt sorry for her son but she felt bad for the cow too. So that’s something else to be watchful for in winter. A cow wandering in the cold isn’t going to be as alert as usual, and a cow isn’t the smartest animal in the barn to begin with. Pigs. I heard pigs are pretty smart.

Happy Birthday to me
I had a birthday this week. I didn’t want to, but it was forced upon me by people who supposedly love me. They are not the kind of people who will leave something like that alone. This year I got handmade cards and money from three of the grandkids. Maria gave me a very crumpled dollar bill with the suggestion, “You can buy a dounut in the morning.” Christian glued a dime in his card and wrote, “Dear Grandma, I know it’s your birthday and I want to know when are we going to sleep over?” No money in Grace’s card, just the inscription: “Dear Grandma Judy, I love you very much. God loves you eternally.” So a whole different direction there.

So now I’m a Pisces?
You may have heard that some astrologers are now questioning the accuracy of the dates assigned to the zodiac. Big brouhaha. I won’t get into the whole gravity thing, but they’re saying because the earth wobbles on its axis, the stars’ alignment has gotten out of whack and we all have to back up a month. Well, I for one am a little peeved. Just how are we supposed to tell the sensitive, idealistic people from the friendly, adaptable people now? I have been an Aries all my life. We are fiery, take-charge kind of folks. I don’t want to be a Pisces. Fish are wishy-washy and they can’t make up their minds about anything. On the other hand, this may explain why things didn’t turn out the way I planned on May 11, 2008.

Proof again that crime doesn’t pay
From the local news: a St. Paul man was sentenced to 60 days in jail last month for stealing packages off front porches over the holidays. He was caught with twelve bathrobes, a box of ornaments and a box of steaks. Obviously, the steaks are long gone. So basically the guy is sitting in jail for a dozen bathrobes. What an idiot. Not as big an idiot as Charlie Sheen, but an idiot nonetheless.