Blogging Facts (or What Happened the Night of July 17, 2006)

 

YOUR BLOG IS CALLING.

So I’ve been at this blogging thing for about a month now and here’s what I’ve learned: if you want to add another guilt-inducing commitment to your life, take up blogging. Because it is a commitment, and just like all your other commitments, it nags you: “Pick me! Where have you been? You haven’t paid attention to me for days. People will lose interest. Do you want to lose friends?” Yada, yada, yada.

The thing is, when life slows down a bit – like maybe you’re trapped in an Arctic blizzard for six months – finding time to blog is no problem. But when life is hectic (read now), you look at the next empty page and your brain goes numb. So to keep up, I thought I’d share some things I’ve written in the past. Some are stories about my grandkids, saved for their future amusement and/or everlasting embarrassment. And here comes one now…

July 18, 2006

I’d just like to say to those people who urged me to choose Option B (babysitting) over Option A (hauling boxes) during my daughter’s move to a bigger home last night that you are without a clue. I didn’t lift heavy objects in 90-degree weather, but I did watch 11-month-old Grace, who used to stay where you put her but is now mobile even though she still doesn’t have a lick of sense, and little Christian, who just turned two and is pretty much fed up with the whole relocation thing and basically just wanted his mother and got mad and threw the butter and the plastic butter dish out the kitchen door, although it landed right-side up, so no harm done.

Well, you ask, what was a 2-year-old doing playing with the butter? That’s a long story and not one that shows me in the best light, so I’m going to ignore it. But if I were you, I’d take with a grain of salt those TV spots shot in grandma’s cozy kitchen, unless of course they also show the grandchild throwing cookie dough out the window.

You love them to pieces, but there’s a whole other side.

“When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.” –Ogden Nash

It was Grandparents Day at Maria and Christian’s school on Wednesday. I like Grandparents Day. Everyone is just so doggone happy to be there. Every grandparent is beaming. Every kid is proud as punch. “This is my grandpa!” they’ll say, like maybe you couldn’t figure that out. The hugs, the kisses, the handholding. For boomers, it’s a little like Woodstock but without the sex and drugs.

You’d be hard-pressed to find a bigger gathering of adults who couldn’t care less about discipline than on Grandparents Day. Not our job. During a musical assembly that lasted about 45 minutes, I never saw one person frown, shush or tell a kid to stop doing anything. This is unheard of when parents are around. Yet in the face of obvious misbehavior, grandparents will stare straight ahead, oblivious and happy.

Christian got hold of two magnetic chip clips and spent the entire assembly sticking them to the seats in front of us and clipping them to various spots on our clothes. I saw no reason why he shouldn’t. Maria and her friend Maddy, who were sitting between Maddy’s grandma and me, played a hand-clapping game in time to the music. It was obvious that Maddy’s grandma had no intention of telling them to stop. I know I didn’t.

We visited their classrooms and saw their desks (cleaned for the occasion), looked at textbooks, oohed over artwork, drank juice and ate sandwiches and cookies. But mostly we just marveled at the talent, imagination and resourcefulness of grandchildren. Really, it’s hard to know what there is for their parents to find fault with.

 

“The idea that no one is perfect is a view commonly held by people with no grandchildren.”  –Doug Larson