Tag: smoking

Down at the DMV & Other Sad Tales

~ Judy ~ 2 Comments
FATIMA MAY BE ONTO SOMETHING

Went down to the DMV yesterday to renew my driver’s license for another four years. I actually put on full makeup and earrings for the occasion, like maybe it would make a difference and I wouldn’t end up with another license photo in which I look like Nurse Ratched. A lesson in futility, of course, but if you think about it, what are the chances I won’t be wearing makeup and earrings when the cops stop me? Pretty slim, I’d say.

These people are not like us
Whitney Houston died yesterday, another sad story of superhuman talent followed by an all too human decline. According to one report, “Paramedics who were already at the hotel because of a Grammy party unsuccessfully tried to resuscitate the singer.” So if you’re hosting a party for the famous in Tinsel Town, I guess one of the items on your checklist is “Invite paramedics.” What world do these people live in?

Let’s try that again
Sometimes even I’m astounded at how quickly I can fall off the smoking wagon. One cigarette and it’s full speed ahead. Of course, there’s no avoiding the need to jump back on. My motivation this time came in a phone call from Daughter #3 this week reminding me how much the grandkids love and need me. Well, I know that. Who wouldn’t love someone who always says yes?

So I picked up some Step 2 nicotine patches at Target today (convinced that I’m not so far gone that I need Step 1), then stopped at the gas station for a pack of cigarettes, because in my case self-control is a delicate balance between ready and not ready.

I swear, in my next life I will not be sitting in a cafe with my girlfriends at age sixteen practicing how to inhale when I’m supposed to be in school.

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Photo: Google Images, coolfunpics.com
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Whatever You Do, Don’t Look Back

~ Judy ~ 2 Comments
RESOLVED: BUY MORE CUTE SHOES

Made my list of New Year’s resolutions yet again. I find that list-making gives me a sense of accomplishment, almost like actually doing the things on the list. Probably the only 2010 resolution I kept was quitting smoking, a big surprise to me and no doubt others, motivated primarily by fear. I may have kept other resolutions. I don’t remember them anymore.

Reflection is good though. I wanted to reflect on the many memorable events of last year, but for the most part I just came up with things that annoyed me, like:

1. The stitches behind and under my ear were supposedly removed two weeks after surgery, yet every other week another fragment of surgical thread works its way up and I have to yank it out myself. Is this my job? It’s gross.

2. Hi-lex has lost the bleach war. It’s a mystery to me, but there you are. I don’t like Clorox, i.e., chlorine bleach; I like Hi-lex, i.e., some other kind of bleach not chlorine that gets clothes really white. I knew of one major chain that still carried Hi-lex (a tiny island amid a sea of chlorine on the shelves), but in 2010 that store too bowed to the god Clorox. Civilization has taken a step backward, if you ask me.

3. Just when it looked like we may be nearing the end of the Paris/Britney/Lindsay madness, along came the Kim/Khloe/Kourtney insanity. “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” actually won a People’s Choice Award this week (Best Guilty Pleasure). If, like me, you were trying to retain a shred of faith in the American viewing public, just forget it.

4. How is it that younger women today do not understand the concept of The Slip? One of last year’s popular fashion trends was the little print dress in silk, rayon and other clingy fabrics. Fine, but please, look in the rear-view mirror. The only people behind you who enjoy seeing every bump, bulge and ripple of cellulite are people you probably wouldn’t want to be alone with. The Slip. Learn of it.

5. Billy Joel had double hip replacement. Billy Joel! How old does that make you feel? They said it was for a lifelong congenital ailment. Right.

Maybe remembering the things that annoyed you isn’t the most positive way to start a new year. I did get a beautiful, if fat, new grandson. And I also bought some very cute shoes.

Remedial Blogging

~ Judy ~ 2 Comments
REMORSE

I know. Long time no blog. I was sick. I was tired. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got a prescription. I feel better.

Looking back:

10/27 – e-mail to lottery-playing coworkers

The Powerball pool has gotten completely off track. No point in denying it. I know it and you know it. We actually ran out of money last Wednesday, but that’s okay because I didn’t buy a ticket for Saturday anyway. I have a lot of excuses you don’t want to hear. “Where’s the money?” That’s all you people care about. So let us move along briskly.

To be in the next round, drop off your dollar by noon Friday. You’ll want to get it in quickly. By this time next week, I expect to be intolerable. I started taking Chantix on Monday (you take it for a week before you quit smoking). I expect no pats on the back, because I DON’T WANT TO QUIT. I won’t be wanting encouragement next week, I’ll be wanting a damn cigarette.

See, I’m getting grumpy already. Out of sheer rebellion, I’ve decided to get a tattoo.

10/29 – e-mail to lottery-playing coworkers

I don’t want to name names, but some of you still owe me money. Stop procrastinating.

I’m down to half a pack of cigarettes and no plan. You’re supposed to have a plan. I don’t have a plan, and that’s the story of my life. It’s crunch time, action is required, but the only plan I have is something vague in the back of my brain… quit smoking, don’t overeat, exercise more, meditate…make a plan!

By Sunday night, I’ll probably be scaring the trick-or-treaters.

10/30 – notes on babysitting for Cosette and Baby Bret while their parents go to a Halloween party

Obviously these two (Gina and Bret) need to get away. They were standing in the doorway ready to leave just about the time I picked up Baby Bret, who was screaming loud enough to curdle breast milk. They looked at me, smiled, said “Bye” and never looked back. This would have been unheard of when Cosette was three months old. The times they are a-changin’.

10/31 – notes on quitting smoking

Quit smoking. Big whoop. It’s going okay. I guess.

You always have to choose, don’t you.