Doctor Who?

I am behind on my blogging but not without cause. Fall is always chaotic at work, where Christmas starts around September 1 and doesn’t end till Halloween, by which time I am usually grateful I didn’t shoot the last person who asked me to move a comma. Then I like to spend fall weekends moving a half-million leaves from one spot in the yard to another, which is what comes from living surrounded by your so-called majestic oaks.

So. Why not continue on the subject of health and put one thing to rest.

I have learned more about the world of glands in the last two weeks than in the last 20 years, most notably that the doctor you see about one kind (thyroid) is not the doctor you see about another kind (parotid), even though the two glands are about 5 inches apart. No, you have to make twice as many doctor visits to get the full picture on any glandular issues.

I also learned that two specialists who work in the same clinic, on the same floor and down the hall from each other, can be completely unaware of each other’s existence. In fact, one may be unable to pronounce the other’s name.

I saw the endocrinologist last week to get the results of Biopsy #2 (memorable for being stuck in the neck an added 16 to 17 times, because, gosh, we found some more of these things and, hey, why not check them out while you’re here!) and learned that my several thyroid nodules, while ugly, happily are not killing me. (I know they’re ugly because I searched online, where there are about eleventeen different kinds of nodules, all ugly as sin.)

I asked the endocrinologist for an opinion on Biopsy #1 while I was there, and that’s when I learned that he doesn’t do parotid. Said you might as well ask a dentist about your bunions. Said he didn’t know anything about it and wasn’t about to venture an opinion. Which is a big fat lie. He’s a doctor. Of course he has an opinion, one he isn’t about to share with me.

This week I go to the Ear Nose & Throat doctor, where I hope to get the final word on nodules and put this whole sordid experience behind me, except I probably won’t because I’m pretty sure one of them has to come out. Nevertheless, let’s just give it a rest for a while. I’m sick of nodules and I’m sure you are too.