Igloo Building 101: Don’t forget to sign up

Snowed here yesterday. Snowed here today. It’s supposed to snow here tomorrow. I heard on last night’s news that 47 of the 48 contiguous states have snow on the ground, the one exception being Florida. I don’t know what it means. I just throw it out there.

The Garage Sale, Summer of 2009:

July 29
The garage sale is my life now. My house is torn up from top to bottom. And here’s an interesting phenomenon: I’ve found there are some essentially worthless items that I just can’t part with – an old ankh and crystal necklace, a tin box with a picture of a woman in a convertible on it, a red and black feather boa – things I have no use for that nevertheless appeal to me. It isn’t a comforting thought.

More garage sale treasures found:
13-pc. unassembled child’s bed with no hardware or instructions
Christmas nutcracker (motion and music!)
Christmas nutcracker (just stands there)
Christmas nutcracker ornament
Mood ring

August 5
Behind the Christmas boxes and some old bolts of fabric, I found a bunch of posters from the eighties – Michael Jackson, Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Jon Bon Jovi, Rob Lowe, The Eurythmics.

I thought we might get something for the four Michael Jackson posters, seeing as he died in scandalous circumstances just last month. Interestingly, more than one daughter claims these were hers. (Gina says her kissprints are all over them, which I guess means they could be tested for DNA.) I’m waiting for someone to mention that I’m the one who saved them from destruction and stored them all these years, but so far no one has.

And still more treasures:
fluffy sheep hot water bottle holder
elf, frog and polar bear slippers
little liquor barrel that attaches to the collar of a St. Bernard

You can’t make this stuff up.

August 7
A good share of my potential garage sale profits have gone out the door with the kids, including but not limited to: four ladderback chairs, four Windsor chairs, a girl’s bedroom set, a turntable and old albums, a 75-year-old dollhouse and an 18-pc. set of Armetale plates. On the other hand, I still have all those prom dresses and animal slippers.

By now you’re probably asking, doesn’t that woman throw anything away? I resent that, even as I ask myself the same thing.

Still more treasures for the sale:
McDonald’s visor, apron and badge
30-40 stuffed animals
Prince album autographed to “Denise,” who no one has any recollection of knowing

August 11
The sale is this Friday and Saturday. The garage is overflowing, nothing is set up, the house is a wreck, my back aches, and I have boo-boos on two fingers. On the other hand, I think I dropped three or four pounds, so there’s that.

Made up some signs advertising the Not Dead Estate Sale. Given the heat, my guess is the big seller will be bottled water.

Still more treasures uncovered:
12″ plastic rabbit (amazingly lifelike!)
hair extensions
bowling shoes
perpetual calendar
two adult cow costumes

Coming up: Garage Sale Results!


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