Where Did You Come From? Where Have You Gone?

It will be two weeks tomorrow since Jim died, my hands cradling his head, six months and twelve days from the day we met. As it happened, the end came so quickly that there was no one else there. People say sometimes you can feel the spirit leave the body, but I never did.

It was an unusual situation. We’d been dating about two months when he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and the prognosis was never good. He gave me “permission” to walk away, but I just kept hanging around until it was impossible to go. Now and again he would ask me, “Where did you come from?” But what could I say? I only lived fifteen minutes away.

So many questions. Who was in need? Who was sent? I know it was a comfort to him having me there in his last months, and I believe when he passed over to the other side, if there is an other side, he did so peacefully. In the week that followed, I spent a lot of time with his kind, wonderful family, went to the funeral and the cemetery and Shiva. Now there is a new normal. And still I find myself asking: Where have you gone?

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4 Responses to Where Did You Come From? Where Have You Gone?

  1. Shirley Hawkins says:

    I had no idea Judy. I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. I believe that God brings people into eachother’s lives for a reason. God felt that Jim needed someone like you in his life during that time. And maybe on some level, you needed it, too.

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  2. Nancy says:

    Judy, now that I’ve almost stopped crying. You were meant to be in his life and he was so lucky to have you even for a few months. I’m so sorry for your loss. Nancy

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  3. Cathy says:

    Bummer Judea-very sorry to hear. How fortunate you both were to have known each other. May he rest in the arms of God!

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  4. Gina (daughter #3) says:

    Mom,
    There’s a lot of times when Bret and I are discussing something, and when we’re left without an answer he says, “We’ll have to ask God that when we get there”.

    I am confident this friendship and your calling was from God. And, I am certain he is so pleased with you for being there for Jim. I pray he’ll continue to give you peace.

    I love you with all my heart,
    Gina

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