Tag: boomer

“There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.” –George Carlin

~ Judy ~ Leave a comment

So the weather. There’s just no predicting it. It’s only December 7. and we’ve already had two snowstorms, both with horrible timing. Minnesota winters aren’t nearly as cold as some people think, but they make up for it in perversity.

I lost two trees in that first heavy snowstorm on November 12. I didn’t know it till the thirteenth, when I came home from the hospital, all medicated up and miserable, and found them blocking the driveway. It was a shock. My daughter Jessica, who was driving me home after spending the night in one of those plastic-covered bed-chairs the hospital provides as a deterrent, was driving a little fast, because the street hadn’t been plowed yet (big surprise) and when that happens you have to take a good run at the driveway lest you miss it and end up stuck down in the cul-de-sac. So when she came around the curve and saw the downed trees, she decided to take a quick left past the mailbox and into the front yard instead, where she did indeed get stuck. (To be fair, I may have been screaming instructions at her.)

So there we were. Jessica was wondering, “How am I going to get my bootless, drugged-up mother into the house?” and I was thinking, “For the love of God, will I always be at the mercy of the fates and Minnesota weather?” Then I just opened the car door and, weaving a little, stomped into the house.

Last Friday’s snowstorm wasn’t as wet or heavy, but it lasted all day, and by the time I set out for Maria and Grace’s dance recital that night, every car on the freeway had given up trying to find a lane and simply stopped, as cars on the freeway will do for no apparent reason. I mushed on for 45 minutes before I turned around and mushed back home.

We live in Minnesota. We endure. The trees were cleared out of the driveway, the car was dug out, and there was a matinee performance of the dance recital on Saturday. Big cold snap coming next week.

Remedial Blogging

~ Judy ~ 2 Comments
REMORSE

I know. Long time no blog. I was sick. I was tired. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got a prescription. I feel better.

Looking back:

10/27 – e-mail to lottery-playing coworkers

The Powerball pool has gotten completely off track. No point in denying it. I know it and you know it. We actually ran out of money last Wednesday, but that’s okay because I didn’t buy a ticket for Saturday anyway. I have a lot of excuses you don’t want to hear. “Where’s the money?” That’s all you people care about. So let us move along briskly.

To be in the next round, drop off your dollar by noon Friday. You’ll want to get it in quickly. By this time next week, I expect to be intolerable. I started taking Chantix on Monday (you take it for a week before you quit smoking). I expect no pats on the back, because I DON’T WANT TO QUIT. I won’t be wanting encouragement next week, I’ll be wanting a damn cigarette.

See, I’m getting grumpy already. Out of sheer rebellion, I’ve decided to get a tattoo.

10/29 – e-mail to lottery-playing coworkers

I don’t want to name names, but some of you still owe me money. Stop procrastinating.

I’m down to half a pack of cigarettes and no plan. You’re supposed to have a plan. I don’t have a plan, and that’s the story of my life. It’s crunch time, action is required, but the only plan I have is something vague in the back of my brain… quit smoking, don’t overeat, exercise more, meditate…make a plan!

By Sunday night, I’ll probably be scaring the trick-or-treaters.

10/30 – notes on babysitting for Cosette and Baby Bret while their parents go to a Halloween party

Obviously these two (Gina and Bret) need to get away. They were standing in the doorway ready to leave just about the time I picked up Baby Bret, who was screaming loud enough to curdle breast milk. They looked at me, smiled, said “Bye” and never looked back. This would have been unheard of when Cosette was three months old. The times they are a-changin’.

10/31 – notes on quitting smoking

Quit smoking. Big whoop. It’s going okay. I guess.

You always have to choose, don’t you.

Doctor Who?

~ Judy ~ 1 Comment

I am behind on my blogging but not without cause. Fall is always chaotic at work, where Christmas starts around September 1 and doesn’t end till Halloween, by which time I am usually grateful I didn’t shoot the last person who asked me to move a comma. Then I like to spend fall weekends moving a half-million leaves from one spot in the yard to another, which is what comes from living surrounded by your so-called majestic oaks.

So. Why not continue on the subject of health and put one thing to rest.

I have learned more about the world of glands in the last two weeks than in the last 20 years, most notably that the doctor you see about one kind (thyroid) is not the doctor you see about another kind (parotid), even though the two glands are about 5 inches apart. No, you have to make twice as many doctor visits to get the full picture on any glandular issues.

I also learned that two specialists who work in the same clinic, on the same floor and down the hall from each other, can be completely unaware of each other’s existence. In fact, one may be unable to pronounce the other’s name.

I saw the endocrinologist last week to get the results of Biopsy #2 (memorable for being stuck in the neck an added 16 to 17 times, because, gosh, we found some more of these things and, hey, why not check them out while you’re here!) and learned that my several thyroid nodules, while ugly, happily are not killing me. (I know they’re ugly because I searched online, where there are about eleventeen different kinds of nodules, all ugly as sin.)

I asked the endocrinologist for an opinion on Biopsy #1 while I was there, and that’s when I learned that he doesn’t do parotid. Said you might as well ask a dentist about your bunions. Said he didn’t know anything about it and wasn’t about to venture an opinion. Which is a big fat lie. He’s a doctor. Of course he has an opinion, one he isn’t about to share with me.

This week I go to the Ear Nose & Throat doctor, where I hope to get the final word on nodules and put this whole sordid experience behind me, except I probably won’t because I’m pretty sure one of them has to come out. Nevertheless, let’s just give it a rest for a while. I’m sick of nodules and I’m sure you are too.