Five days left of The Great Minnesota Get-Together and I won’t make it again this year. I have nothing against the state fair; I just think you can go once every ten years and not miss much. As far as I know, eau de greasy food is still the prevailing scent, Princess Kay of the Milky Way still has her head sculpted in 85 pounds of butter, that guy at the Food Building is still hawking a veggie chopper, the smell from the poultry barn will still knock out a small child, and the line for mini donuts is halfway down the block.
I love mini donuts. What are they, four bucks a dozen now? I was pretty sure the deep-fried Snickers bar must be the highest-calorie item at the fair, but it turns out that twelve mini donuts (720 calories) beats out the Snickers (444). Taking the blue ribbon for calorie content: fried cheese curds (1,140 calories per 7-oz. container). Top it off with a trip to the beer garden and the only thing left is to waddle home and fall on the couch in a stupor.
I’m a sucker for all those Miracle products they pitch at the Grandstand too. The Miracle vibrating back pillow, the Miracle 2-stage cabinet cleaner, the Miracle mop – all items I have purchased, brought home and never looked at again. I will stand in awe for 20 minutes listening to someone talk about the life-changing properties of plum blossom honey. Obviously, life isn’t fit for living without several jars of honey in the cupboard.
But I have more than enough honey. I still have that miracle cabinet cleaner, for that matter. So no, I am not going to join the wandering masses sporting foam fish hats and “I’m With Stupid” t-shirts. Even though I would kill for some mini donuts.
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